Shot night routine- Sick kids at school

So I have a weekly routine...

• line up the meds...  
• take the syringes out of the paper and plastic they are in..
• wipe off the top of the vial with alcohol, even if it is a brand new capped vial
• insert 27 gage needle into the vial
• withdraw 1 ml of Methotrexate
• re cap the syringe
• remove the tip from the 29 1/2 gage needle
• replace 27 gage with 29 1/2 gage needle
• clean the skin with alcohol (R or L Arm , R or L Leg)
• let the alcohol dry
• insert needle
• pull back plunger to check for blood
• inject medication (while slowly counting to 10)
• place finger over the needle site 
• remove the needle
• apply a bandaid
• apologize to my child profusely how sorry I am that I have to poke them...

So this is was happening once a week...  now it is happening a couple of times a week... Since we have two children with JA.

 Can I just say that the steps listed in this order are exactly how I do it.  I dont know if everyone is like this,  I personally do a rundown of my "list" in my head and as I am working on one am thinking of the next step while I am doing it.  I feel this sense of anxiety, stress, and grief all at the same time as I look at my child and think...  WHY ...  WHY YOU???  Then I think about the other JA families, and wonder why them?  Why any of them...?  This is not like diabetes that can be controlled with insulin and diet.  This is not like any other disease.  The drugs I inject can cause cancer.  They can cause organ failure... so many horrible things CAN and DO happen.  I do this all the while feeling guilty to give them a better ADULT LIFE!  Who has to do this?  Medicate, inject,  and borderline torture your child just thinking of how they can become a "normal" adult?  

I wonder every time that I send my kids to school I worry about WHO vaccinates, and who doesn't...  I worry about who has had a recent vaccine.  Who's parents work, and because they dont have the days off or want their child to have perfect attendance sent their child to school so that mine will get sick...  These are the things ALL JA parents worry about.

If you are a parent reading this...  please...  think of this....
you are sending your child to school sick... (stay at home or working parents alike)  mine will spend approximately 2 weeks out of school PER day that you sent yours sick...  JUST to get back to 'normal'  It will take my child twice as long as yours to heal from a cold or the flu because my child is on low dose chemo...  You get to choose , you take the choice away from me.  I will end up in the ER with my child over a common cold...  You however get to sleep at night.

The rash you sent your child to school with, even though it is covered is an airborne virus...  My child will get a secondary infection from it, and end up hospitalized.  But you don't think about this because you sent your child dosed up with Tylenol, or Motrin.  You say,  "your child looks fine"  Yes.  They do look great, because I do the above listed routine every week.  But that same routine compromises their immune system and shuts it down, because Juvenile arthritis is Autoimmune...  meaning my childs immune system is over reacting and attacking every joint.  It thinks the joint is a foreign body.

So the next time you want to send your child to school with strep, because they have been on antibiotis...  WAIT!  PLEASE...  save parents like me an ER visit and and extended stay in the hospital.  Please remember our weekly routine... I would be especially grateful.