Okay so Im not sure how i feel... well, yes, I am... HUMIRA... You DAMNED well better help my baby girl... You burned, you made her cry and broke my heart to hear her scream!! I hate that you did that. I held her for 45 minutes last night till she stopped sobbing... You suck! So you better be our magic...
This is my sweet girl... Putting Ice and vibration on her leg to make it numb. She didnt want to smile I told her she could smile for me... Notice it is forced... but she is a good sport! <3 love her!
This is the medicine she was injected with ...
The moment I heard her scream, a part of my heart died. I have injected her ALOT!!! But to hear her scream like that because I WAS POKING HER... just crushed me. Even now typing this my eyes are full of tears for the sheer fact that I HATE hurting her. I tell myself this is helping her... It is... But in this moment when your child is begging you please stop... it burns mommy... part of you just dies. All the trust you build with your child from the time they are an infant feels like you just took it away from them... and then... this is what you have left....
A child crying in her mommy's arms begging you to never hurt her again... She and you both know in 2 weeks it will happen again... 14 days... of dreading and the anxiety that will go along with it... I think im going to ask the rheumy for an RX for some anti anxiety meds for me... I have decided that with JRA moms need an automatic RX for something... Even if its a liquor bottle... Just sayin'
:( I know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteThis KILLED me Kristie. The part about "But in this moment when your child is begging you please stop... it burns mommy... part of you just dies. All the trust you build with your child from the time they are an infant feels like you just took it away from them... and then... this is what you have left....
ReplyDeleteA child crying in her mommy's arms begging you to never hurt her again..."
It has gotten MUCH better with Jenna, but there were MANY times that we went through the same thing. She would scream at us to please stop hurting her, WHY are we DOING this to her. A bit of my heart broke off and died each time. You are so right, they are supposed to trust us to protect them, not HURT them. No matter how much we told her that it was for her own good, what CHILD cares about that?? She was only 4 when we started all of this. You worded it all very well. <3
Have you looked into alternative treatments? This is a great article, please take a moment to read it:
ReplyDeletehttp://robbwolf.com/2011/08/22/emelias-story-she-is-my-walking-miracle/